Archive for August, 2013

A Wicked Trifecta

forgiveness, judgment, letting go, breaking bad habits, breaking patterns, allowing, inner work, healing

“Triad” – by Carla Parris

Of late I have been meditating on the issue of judgment: how it occurs in my life, and how much it needs to be allowed to come up, worked through, and let go of. Here is a note I dictated, on the fly, on the subject … in a moment of epiphany.

“If I hold onto judgment in any form then I end up judging myself even more cruelly. Because of my abusive past I have an inner voice that is incredibly destructive.

So if I judge other people I will judge myself ten times more harshly. If I judge myself that harshly then when other people judge me it will cut me to the very depths I have already judged myself.  From that state of self-judgment, I will proceed to pre-judge others as a defense mechanism.

It is a wicked trifecta of judgment … if I allow any one of them to exist in my heart then they will all exist … and consume me.

The only way I will ever be free is to give up judgment on all levels … in all forms … toward others, toward myself, and from others.”

Give it a try! 😉

Peace and Love

~~~~~~~

Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.

We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!

There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.

By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.

In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.

Southern California, Northern California,Mission ViejoIrvineLos AngelesSan FranciscoMarinSan JoseSan Juan CapistranoSanta AnaPalm SpringsLong Beach

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The Holiest Object Presented To Your Senses

Dusk-City-Statue-of-Jesus-Rio-de-Janeiro-Brazil

The words and topic of my meditations:

There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations — these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit. … Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.” 

– C. S. Lewis

~~~~~~~

“A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life, knowing that in this world no one is all knowing and therefore all of us need both love and charity.” 

– Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~~~~~

“Yes, love, …but not the love that loves for something, to gain something, or because of something, but that love that I felt for the first time, when dying, I saw my enemy and yet loved him. I knew that feeling of love which is the essence of the soul, for which no object is needed. And I know that blissful feeling now too. To love one’s neighbours; to love one’s enemies. To love everything – to Love God in all His manifestations. 

– Leo Tolstoy

~~~~~~~

Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.

We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!

There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.

By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.

In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.

Southern California, Northern California,Mission ViejoIrvineLos AngelesSan FranciscoMarinSan Jose,San Juan CapistranoSanta AnaPalm SpringsLong Beach

The Unified State of Wholeness

man

I have been reading a very eye-opening book; “Leadership and Self Deception – Getting Out Of The Box”, by The Arbinger Institute.  I have been very surprised to discover how many of the self deceptive practices, as described in the book, are literal mindsets I live with daily; “logical” (to me) ways of living life.  Briefly, the book describes how we live SO much of our lives viewing others as obstacles or objects, as opposed to considering them as being every bit as valid and important as we ourselves are.  Sounds simple … of course it should be this way, you’d say (as would I), but when the examples started coming I definitely saw how I was guilty.  I don’t personally view others as stepping stones to elevate my success … but I am just as guilty for using others to try and get validation and acceptance … it’s just a different form of currency … and don’t we ALL have our own form of currency based upon what we have chosen as our personal “path to happiness”??

I definitely recommend the book.  I started ruminating on just when it was that I began deceiving myself in such a way.  I went back to college, when I seemed fairly “open” to experiencing life fully … yup, there those self-deceptive (self-centered) practices were in all their glory.  I kept going back through my twenties, and then teens, and then to childhood memories … these behaviors were present all the way through!  I was baffled by this because so much of what has advanced my breakthroughs on spiritual levels has been “returning to a child-like state” (i.e. open-heartedness – open heart chakra – connectivity to God).  Finally it hit me, or at least it began to hit me over and over again like a pulsating current … my “a ha!” light bulb epiphany of a moment.

I looked at the behaviors of my nephew, Easton: exceedingly self-centered at times, will do just about anything as long as he gets what he wants, appreciates me primarily because I bring him treats, am only there for the fun times, and allow him to play Angry Birds and Clash of Clans on my iPad.  There are ALL those same self-deceptive patterns as described in the book.  Yet ALONG with all of those maddeningly selfish behaviors exists a beautiful soul … a wonderfully energetic and loving, open-hearted little boy … at the very same time!  The heart of a child is wide open and only learns to close through painful life experiences.

Birth               Childhood         /           Adult

→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→

Open Hearted  /  Progressively Closed-Hearted

While our hearts get closed more and more over time, we actually do learn to be less selfish (or at least outrightly so).  What we really learn is how to fulfill the “letter of the law” in terms of societal standards on how to treat other people.

Birth               Childhood         /           Adult

→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→

Self Centered  /  Progressively Adaptive to Societal Standards

A child can cry to induce the “objects” around him/her to provide whatever is wanted … as time goes by that no longer works, so what we actually do is discover new ways to get what we want from the “objects” in our lives.  Ways that fit into their rules, yet still provide us with the results we want.  People can tell whether you authentically care about them or not, but as long as you cross your t’s and dot your i’s you can get away with all of this self deception.  This type of behavior, coupled with a closed heart, becomes increasingly abusive to both the self and others.

Returning to the open-hearted state from childhood does not mean we become child-ish (self deceptive and self centered) … which may or may not be a state that we ever evolved out of.  Anyone can tackle one or the other and think that they are having success … and they are, in a way.  This is what makes transformation so difficult to accomplish … as thoughtful adults, desirous of authentic change, we are having to learn two different things at the same time … going in opposite directions.

The Unified State of Wholeness

(Spiritual)

Open-Hearted           Closed-Hearted

←←←←←←←←←←←←←←←←←←←←←←

(Childhood)               (Adulthood)

→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→

Self Deceptive            Authentically Adaptive to Societal Standards (viewing others as human beings whose needs are just as valid as our own)

(Theory, Principles) 

If we are only doing one or the other, eventually we will regress into what comes naturally to us … that which we have been trained, and trained ourselves, to be.  I may have had HUGE transformations in my life that have been based on the principles of being open-hearted and connected to God … but I STILL am able to do so while being self-deceptive.  As the book says, I didn’t even know that I have a problem in how I view others!  Conversely, someone can learn all the theory, psychological principles and behaviors they want … if they can’t connect from and with an open heart … it just doesn’t come across as authentic to others; because it’s not.  Without an open heart it is just learnedness.

Gold and Mud

goldmudIt’s a very interesting occurrence … finding “truth”.  You go through all the crap, and mud, and filth … and somehow you make it through to the other side … still alive, still breathing.  You have an golden moment of epiphany … you see what you have learned as the filth washes away and you are left with the gold.  Here is the thing though … what is gold for you, might not be gold for someone else.  In fact, your gold might actually be FILTH to someone else.  You KNOW that it is gold though … you want to scream at them, how dare they throw your hard-won gold away like dung.  The question that God posed to me that caused me to meditate on this, and consider it carefully was this:

“How are you any different for trying to change them than they were for trying to change you?”

I hated that … I wanted to fight it away and say, “Because I’m right, that’s why!”  But of course I felt like an idiot … they too felt that they were right with every bit as much righteous indignation.

All we can do is LOVE … the minute we try to hold on and make something fixed; defined … that is where we stumble and fall short of the infinite LOVE that God freely pours upon us.

Here are my words to meditate upon:

~~~~~~~

“There is no escape. You can’t be a vagabond and an artist and still be a solid citizen, a wholesome, upstanding man. You want to get drunk, so you have to accept the hangover. You say yes to the sunlight and pure fantasies, so you have to say yes to the filth and the nausea. Everything is within you, gold and mud, happiness and pain, the laughter of childhood and the apprehension of death. Say yes to everything, shirk nothing. Don’t try to lie to yourself. You are not a solid citizen. You are not a Greek. You are not harmonious, or the master of yourself. You are a bird in the storm. Let it storm! Let it drive you! How much have you lied!”

– Hermann Hesse

~~~~~~~

Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.

We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!

There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.

By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.

In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.

Southern California, Northern California,Mission ViejoIrvineLos AngelesSan FranciscoMarinSan Jose,San Juan CapistranoSanta AnaPalm SpringsLong Beach